Rewind:
How a memory so young is fresh as a lily in my mind, I cannot say! I just close my eyes and see myself transform into a five year old running home after the school. It is quite a walk from the school towards the home and I tag along with my elder brother and friends. Suddenly I am all alone. I am shouting after them to wait for me but their stupid ‘ who touches the home ground first ‘ game has never worked for me since I invariably end up the last one . I intend to go shedding my precious tears all the way home so that my dear brother would be reprimanded
Along comes a sinister looking stranger. “What‘s happened to you dear child?
“Don’t talk to strangers” my innocent mind resonates.
“What a lovely girl you are!” says the guy with crazy moustaches.
“Don’t talk to strangers “my ears feel hot now.
“Come, come let’s buy you some chocolates!”
“Don’t talk to strangers “I so want to run off but my feet are glued to the ground.
“Now sweetheart come and give uncle a kiss! “
“Don’t talk to strangers” my mind registers what he is saying but I am too ashamed, too confused to react.
Finally I break off this hypnotic state and run as fast as I could. I am narrating this incident to my mother now. She is so scandalized especially because of the recent incidents where kids were lured on same pretexts. My brother is reprimanded, of course and in the evening my father is given the narration. All through it I remember, not a word is spoken to me. I am feeling so ashamed as if it is a fault on my part. Probably I should have never told them or maybe that stranger had some good intentions after all. I keep on blaming myself. I see that stranger once again and this time I want to call my mother to tell her that he is the one. But again my feet seem glued, again that feeling of confusion, again the doubt that probably he is harmless. And I keep on smiling back at him.
Forward:
Now presently 26 weeks pregnant, reading everyday incidents of rapes and sodomising young kids, I live through the agony of these young minds. How they blame themselves with their misplaced sense of judgement, when their minds and bodies are being ravaged. Some retreating to their innermost recesses forever and worst of all some guarding it as a secret and blaming themselves over and over again.
